Three Signs You’ve Got Gratitude Wrong

November 26, 2015 · by · in All Posts, Food for Thought, Improving in Reiki

Gratitude is quite fashionable today, thanks to new age gurus telling us that the more grateful we are, the more the universe gives us. And with that statement, they kill any scope for genuine gratitude. For, any gratitude felt in the hope for more, isn’t gratitude at all. You can trick a man by saying thank you with a smile. You cannot trick the universe.

False gratitude is that which separates the ‘good’ from the ‘bad’, and believes that the good things in life are worth being grateful for.

1. The ‘Insurance’ Gratitude

Normally, people tend to forget ‘God’ when the going is good. Some still remember, and feel grateful for the good times. Usually during these phases, if you turn deeply inward, you realise that this gratitude isn’t genuine at all. Inside, you’re telling God ‘see how grateful I am? Now can I have some more please? I thank you everyday”. This phase can last a few years until things get rough, and that is usually when people tend to learn that ‘gratitude’ isn’t an insurance against bad times.

2. Gratitude for being ‘Better Off’

Usually when their dreams come true, we feel very grateful – ‘Thank you God, for the birth of our healthy son’, or ‘Thank you Universe, for this raise and promotion’, etc. When we get something we’ve been craving for, for a long time, we feel this powerful surge of gratitude well up within us. But this isn’t real either, because most often, what the mind is really saying, is, ‘Thank you, I don’t know how I could’ve been happy without this’. That isn’t gratitude, it is gratification -first we neglect the present moment chasing after something, and after we get it, we reward ourselves with a few moments of pleasure. This is cyclic and ensures we spend a lot of time in misery so that we can enjoy some contrasting ecstatic moments.

3. Forced Gratitude

Remember when you felt low, and someone shoved a ‘there are so many people worse off than you’, in your face? That’s forced gratitude, but we do it to ourselves too. When a person has really experienced homelessness, hopelessness, starvation and war, an experience of security and safety will automatically bring a sense of freedom and gratitude. But try as we might, unless we have experienced those extremes, all we can end up doing when we feel grateful for the things we usually take for granted, is the sort of gratitude we might feel for ‘being better off’.

Gratitude = Commitment

So, what is gratitude after all? Think about it. When a person who hasn’t had a decent meal in months, finally has the luxury of a good one, what happens? This person relishes every morsel, and it is as if the rest of the world disappears. Just the food remains. There is total commitment to the present moment. If you really want to express gratitude for something in life, give every bit of yourself to the experience.

Gratitude = “What can I do for you?”

The reason why gratitude is so linked with abundance is that when one is truly grateful, their energies automatically flow outwards in joy. This joy makes us do things for other people, automatically. When we just say thank you and expect more, that isn’t gratitude at all. If you’re truly grateful to God, surrender deeply and offer yourself. If we are truly, truly grateful for everything we have received, including this body, this mind, and whatever purpose we are here for, how can we not offer our lives, and ask God to ‘use’ us to paint the picture we were sent here to create?

Throw the Thought Away

If your gratitude is a thought, it is not only useless, it is also a sign that you are running away from something. Thinking ‘Thank You’ doesn’t cut it. Total commitment to the present moment is gratitude in action. Every time you find yourself thinking ‘thank you’, let that be a reminder for you to bring your attention to your five senses. Become aware of the sights, sounds, sensations, tastes and smells. That’ll anchor you in the present right away, and leave you capable of making the most of the very moment you are being grateful for.